These memories are all convoluted into
a distant reminder of the very worst,
the absolute worst that could ever happen
to a man of your stature.
You hide it now,
but I know that when your head hits the pillow it comes rushing back to you,
and you realize over and over and over
the mistakes you made. The little slip-ups that
formed ranks and systematically
tore it all apart. The
crack in the foundation that sent the whole house
tumbling in so much
smoke and debris that
the only thing you could do was block it out, back away, close your eyes,
cough, and laugh it off until, at long last,
you were utterly, completely, entirely, totally, wholly, exclusively, fully-- alone, lock, stock and barrel.
And you know, without a doubt, that everything, every microscopic little minute detail that you ignored, or shrugged off, or dismissed with a wave of you grubby little hand, you KNOW,
that all those nights you didn't call, assumed it would be alright, YOU KNOW you were wrong.
You thought you were being normal, when really you had your head so far up your ass you thought your colon was the real world.
That being said... you tried your hardest... sometimes you just fail, huh?